


But there's nothing to be afraid of even when the night changes

by storiesthatmakeus



Series: Night Changes [2]
Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Daddy Robron, Fluff, Friendship, Love, M/M, Parenthood, Self-Reflection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 19:43:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13301880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesthatmakeus/pseuds/storiesthatmakeus
Summary: Aaron has finally realised that he is still in love with Robert, but does the other man feel the same?AKA 7.5k words of Aaron pining after Robert like the lovesick puppy he is.(Also features an actual puppy)





	But there's nothing to be afraid of even when the night changes

**Author's Note:**

> So, a few people asked for a follow up to my last story, so here it is! Enjoy :)
> 
> It is pretty much standalone if you haven't read the other one, but some small bits may not make sense if you haven't just fyi!
> 
> Also, as with all my stories, I did not intend it to be this long, so if you get bored halfway through I don't blame ya!

It had been a little over two weeks since the accident, since Aaron had found Robert and brought him home, and he had barely clapped eyes on him since. He understood, of course he did. Robert was suddenly a full-time father, so his time was taken up with Seb, and Aaron was dealing with his own realisations over his feelings for him, so it was probably for the best that they hadn’t spent much time together, save for small conversations as they ran into each in the village.

But then came the late night phone call, the one that made Aaron’s heart seize in his chest as he heard the pain in Robert’s voice.

_‘’It’s the funeral tomorrow.’’ Robert had said quietly down the phone._

_‘’I know.’’ Aaron replied, having heard the village gossips parroting in the pub about it._

_‘’I know I need to go for Seb but…’’_

_‘’I’ll be there.’’_

And now, here he was, standing in the Mill front room, trying to adjust his tie and block out his mum and Paddy’s protests at the same time.

‘’No chance are you going.’’ Chas fumed.

‘’Well too bad, because I am.’’ Aaron sighed as he adjusted himself again.

‘’Why?’’

‘’Robert needs me.’’

‘’I know you want to be there for him, I get it.’’ Paddy started. ‘’But is it really necessary for you to go?’’

‘’He’s a mate Paddy, I’m not letting him go through this on his own.’’

‘’He has Vic and Diane. He doesn’t need you, not after what he and that woman put you through.’’ Chas interjected. ‘’Listen son…’’

‘’No mum, you listen.’’ Aaron snapped, stunning Chas into silence. ‘’Yes, it’s hard, yes I went through a lot because of what Rebecca and Robert did, but this isn’t about me. This is about a little boy who’s lost his mum, and his dad who needs a mate, that’s it.’’

‘’But…’’

‘’But nothing. Did you tell Rob to stay away from Gordon’s funeral? No, because you knew I needed the support. This is no different. Now I need to get going, so you can see yourselves out.’’

With that he was gone, leaving a sheepish Chas and Paddy in his wake.

The funeral was small and quiet, not the grandiose spectacle people in the village had come to expect from the Whites. There were only a few villagers there, the Home Farm family not having made many friends in their time up at the big house. A handful of strangers presumably connected to Rebecca in some way made up the congregation as Harriet performed a simple service, none of the Whites around anymore to add any personal touches.

Robert said nothing throughout, save for a grateful smile to Aaron as he turned up outside the church, Seb in his arms snuffling away, completely unaware of what he was attending.

After the burial, Vic took an exhausted Seb back to Keepers, followed by Diane, who gave Robert a reassuring squeeze and told him in no uncertain terms to be at Brook Cottage for tea that evening.

As Aaron and Robert walked through the village, Aaron battled with the need to allow the other man time with his thoughts, or break the heavy silence between them. Eventually, the decision was taken out of his hands, as Robert spoke.

‘’No Lachlan then.’’ He muttered.

‘’Would he have been allowed to come?’’ Aaron asked curiously.

‘’He was given the option, according to my solicitor. Clearly didn’t have the bottle to even show up.’’

‘’Maybe it was for the best.’’

‘’Maybe…’’ Robert agreed, his mind clearly elsewhere. They reached Keepers, and Aaron hovered uncertainly by the gate.

‘’Well, I’ll leave you to it. Are you gonna be okay?’’

‘’Yea, I’ll be fine.’’ Robert replied quietly. ‘’It was for Seb more than me, and it’s done now.’’

‘’Well if you ever need me, you know where I am.’’ Aaron said as kindly as he could.

‘’Thank you Aaron, I know I barely said two words to you, but it meant a lot, having you there.’’

‘’Of course.’’ Aaron hesitated briefly, before deciding to take the risk. Stepping forward, he pulled Robert into a quick hug, the other man’s warmth and embrace as familiar as ever. Pulling away, he gave his hand a quick squeeze, waiting until Robert had disappeared into Keepers before heading home, where he yanked off his tie and let out a breath.

 

Another few weeks flew by after the funeral, and in that time, the Mill family had acquired another addition, Aaron finally relenting to his little sister’s endless pleas for a puppy. They were on the way to the cricket pavilion to give their German Shepherd shaped ball of fluff a run around, the energetic little rascal threatening to rip Gerry’s arm out of its socket, when Aaron saw Robert emerge from Keepers with Seb in his arms. He saw the look on Robert’s face, and he groaned internally as he got closer, knowing full well what was coming.

‘’Don’t you dare say it.’’ Aaron warned as he reached Robert.

‘’Okay I won’t. But you could say it.’’ Robert replied without missing a beat.

‘’No chance.’’

‘’Please? It would really make my day.’’ Robert said, his eyes all soft and wanting.

And that was the bloody trouble. Aaron wanted nothing more than to make Robert’s day. So he caved.

‘’You were right Robert, as per usual.’’

‘’Now doesn’t it feel better to have said it out loud?’’ Robert said with a beaming smile that threatened to completely melt Aaron’s heart into a messy puddle. ‘’So what’s he called?’’

‘’Snickers. Looks nuts, according to Gerry.’’ Aaron elaborated dryly, seeing the quizzical look on Robert’s face. Whatever he was about to say next was interrupted by Liv appearing beside him, a small scowl fixed on her face.

‘’Are you coming or what?’’

‘’Yea, I’ll be there in a sec.’’

‘’Happy birthday Liv.’’ Robert said tentatively, clearly unsure of the reception his greeting would elicit, if the look on his face was anything to go by.

‘’Erm…thanks.’’ Liv replied in shock as her eyes softened just a fraction, the surprise that Robert remembered having wiped the scowl off her face for a brief second. It was back fairly quickly though, and she turned on her heel and walked off, leaving Aaron and Robert alone again.

‘’That explains the puppy.’’ Robert said and Aaron nodded.

‘’How’ve you been? Haven’t see much of ya…’’ Aaron started.

‘’Yea well this one’s kept me busy, and just sorting out Home James without Jimmy is a full time job, but I think we’re on track now, right little man?’’ He asked Seb, and the little boy’s gurgle was response enough for Robert.

‘’I hope you’re giving your daddy lots of grief.’’ Aaron joked as he smiled at Seb, and got another gurgle in response, which both men took as agreement to Aaron’s question. ‘’So you’re okay?’’

‘’Yea, I’m fine. A lot better than I thought I’d be. Vic and Diane have been great, and Vanessa’s even said she’ll take him for a play date with Johnny if I need time off so…’’

‘’That’s good. You’re looking…better anyway.’’ Aaron stumbled across his words, but Robert smiled softly at him, and his chest swelled. ‘’Robert, do you and Seb…’’

His next words were cut off by the sound of hollering from the top of the village, and he saw Liv gesturing madly at him.

‘’You better go, before they set the guard dog on ya.’’ Robert laughed as he adjusted Seb on his hip. ‘’I’ll see you later.’’

‘’Yea, see you later.’’ Aaron sighed as he watched Robert head to the café, his invitation for him to join them dying on his lips. Shaking off the disappointment, he soon caught up with his sister, and put it to the back of his mind.

Aaron was curled up on the couch later on that night, his legs dangling over the edge as he drank a massive mug of tea and ate one of the remaining slices of Liv’s birthday cake. Gerry had long since disappeared, puppy in tow doing who knows what, and his sister was nowhere to be seen either.

It was getting late, and he was just about to text her when she finally ambled through the door, a leather-looking book gripped in her arms.

‘’What’s that, and where’ve you been?’’

‘’Out.’’ She said vaguely.

‘’Not a good enough answer. Spill it.’’

‘’Fine…I went to see Robert.’’

‘’What? Why?’’

 

_‘’Liv.’’ Robert said, clearly surprised to see her on the other side of the door. Her gaze was drawn to the bundle in his arms, Seb looking at her with the same curiosity as his father. She had felt a flash of something unrecognisable pass through her, but she ignored it, sweeping past Robert and into the living room of Keepers._

_‘’Come in then.’’ Robert said dryly as he followed her, shutting the door quietly behind him._

_‘’I’m not here for a chat. Just hand it over so we get back ignoring each other.’’_

_‘’Hand over what?’’ Robert asked cryptically._

_‘’My birthday present.’’_

_‘’What makes you think I even got you something?’’_

_‘’Course you did, it’s a big one. Sweet sixteen and all that. Probably got it ages ago.’’_

_‘’Well for my thirtieth all you got me was a cancelled holiday with my boyfriend, so I don’t owe you anything.’’ Robert replied dryly, but there was a glint of something Liv hadn’t seen in a long time behind his eyes, and she fought the smile threatening to crinkle at the edge of her lips._

_After staring each other down for what seemed like an eternity, Robert finally relented, holding Seb expertly in one hand as he rooted in a bag hidden in the corner of the room. Pulling out a present, which even Liv had to admit was beautifully wrapped; Robert seemed suddenly shy as he handed it over._

_Immediately feeling very self-conscious herself, Liv ran her finger over the present before looking at Robert, who gave her a hesitant nod to open it. As she tore off the paper, feeling the eyes of both Seb and Robert on her, she revealed a leather-bound sketchbook._

_‘’A sketchbook.’’ She said quietly. It was beautiful, of course it was, but there was a tinge of disappointment in her heart that it wasn’t something more. As though sensing her sadness, Robert spoke softly to her._

_‘’Open it.’’_

_So she did, and she had to fight with everything she had in her to stop the tears as she flipped through the pages. It was all the drawings she had done since she had come to the village; some done in the backroom of Aaron eating his toast, some from their first family trip to Wales, a few of Aaron bouncing Leo on his knees and others of Chas putting on her make up. There was even one of Robert she had drawn when Aaron was in prison, done one night as she watched him cook tea for them both. There were so many, some she could barely even remember doing, and she looked up at Robert in awe._

_‘’I got sick of constantly picking up loose sheets all the time so I got them bound together.’’ Robert said simply, as though that explained everything. ‘’There’s more blank sheets at the back, so you can add to it…if you wanted.’’_

_‘’It’s alright…I suppose…’’ Liv said quietly as she continued to fight her tears. Flipping to the end, she was puzzled when she saw an engraving at the back, a date she didn’t recognise._

_‘’What’s this?’’ She asked, holding it up for Robert to see._

_''_ _Maybe your brother will tell you one day.’’ He replied softly. Before he could say anything else, a gurgle from his arms distracted him. ‘’Sorry Liv, I need to give this one a feed.’’_

_‘’It’s okay, I was going anyway.’’_

_She felt Robert follow her to the door, holding it open as she stepped out into the night air._

_‘’Say bye Liv.’’ Robert instructed his son, and they got a gurgle in response._

_‘’Bye Liv. It was nice to see you.’’ He followed up, and she glanced at both of them quickly._

_‘’Bye Rob. Bye…Seb.’’ She said quietly, and she saw the way Robert’s face lit up briefly at her acknowledgement, before she headed home._

 

‘’Liv, it’s beautiful.’’ Aaron said once his little sister finished talking, his eyes never leaving the sketchbook in her hands.

‘’Yea…suppose it is.’’ She agreed, but Aaron didn’t miss the softness in her voice as she spoke. ‘’I didn’t get this bit though.’’ She said, turning the book over. ‘’That date is nowhere near right for my birthday. And the inscription makes no sense.’’

Aaron let out a gasp as he looked at what had been written on the back of the sketchbook, and he felt tears prick his eyes.

‘’Well, what is it? Aaron?’’ Liv asked impatiently.

‘’No, it’s not your birthday.’’ Aaron agreed.

‘’Yea, so what then?’’

‘’It’s the date we found you.’’

That night, as Aaron lay in bed, he couldn’t help but laugh a little at the inscription. Liv had obviously forgotten the incident, but he would never forget the way Robert had tried to lighten the mood on the drive home that night by complaining about how sore he was after her kick to his groin.

 

_Liv Flaherty. Starting turf wars since 25.02.16_

 

Aaron entered the café the following morning to see Robert in deep conversation with Joseph Tate, both men staring resolutely at each other as though they were spoiling for a fight. He hovered by the door, watching with anticipation as Robert shook his head firmly and he saw Joseph scoff before rising from his seat, pushing past Aaron as he left the café.

‘’Alright?’’ Aaron asked he approached Robert. ‘’No Seb?’’

Robert smiled as he heard Aaron’s voice, his frown from moments earlier disappearing.

‘’Vic’s taken him out for the day. How are you?’’

‘’I’m good. So…what did he want?’’ Aaron asked, throwing a nod towards the door to indicate whom he meant.

‘’He’s bought Home Farm.’’

‘’And?’’

‘’He offered me the Estate Manager job. Wants to keep it all in the family apparently.’’

‘’Family?’’ Aaron repeated, completely baffled.

‘’Yea…his mum was my step-cousin…briefly anyway. He’s named after my uncle Joe so…’’

‘’Wow.’’ Aaron said as he digested the nugget of information. ‘’So what did you say?’’

‘’Turned him down.’’ Robert replied. ‘’Though I’m impressed he even had the guts to ask me after what he did to my actual family.’’

‘’Your _actual_ family?’’ Aaron repeated.

‘’Yea.’’ Robert answered with a confused expression. ‘’No way I’d work for him after he turfed my niece and nephew out on the street like that.’’

‘’Oh yea…of course.’’ Aaron gathered himself quickly, trying to mask the fleeting shiver that had passed through him at the idea that Robert still saw the Dingles as his family. ‘’Do you want another coffee?’’ He asked, trying to change the subject quickly as he spotted Robert’s empty mug.

‘’Another time yea?’’ Robert answered as he packed away his things. ‘’I need to get to Hotten, and then Robblesfield.’’

‘’Haulage meetings?’’ Aaron guessed.

‘’Flat viewings.’’

‘’You’re moving out of the village?’’ Aaron asked as a knot formed in his stomach.

‘’I have to. Vic’s been amazing, but Keepers isn’t big enough for Seb and me to stay there indefinitely, and there’s nowhere in the village for us to live.’’

‘’Yea, fair enough.’’ Aaron said as nonchalantly as possible.

‘’I’ll still be close enough for work and Vic, so won’t be too bad. Anyway, I’d better go or I’ll miss the first viewing. Definitely get that coffee later though yea?’’ Robert asked, already halfway out the door.

‘’What? Oh yea…course.’’ Aaron replied, his mind already elsewhere as he watched Robert leave. ‘’Oh and thanks for Liv’s present, I explained the inscription and she loved it.’’

‘’Anytime.’’ Robert said with a big smile as he disappeared from view.

 

He sat on the couch in the Mill a few hours later, a half-full can of beer in his hand, and it was safe to say he was stewing. He’d had the idea as soon as Robert had announced his intentions to leave the village, and after getting an earful from his mum that he resolutely ignored, he was now waiting to hear more of the same from Liv. He risked a glance at his watch, and right on cue the front door opened as she stomped through it, Snickers weaving himself around her legs before bounding up to Aaron and jumping onto his lap excitedly, where he nipped at his fingers playfully.

‘’What’s for tea?’’ She asked immediately, clearly sharing her brother’s one-track mind for food.

‘’How about a takeaway?’’ Aaron suggested as he scratched the dog’s ridiculously fluffy jaw.

‘’Not gonna subject me to your cooking then?’’ She sniped lightly, but looked curious at the unreadable expression on her brother’s face.

‘’No, need to keep you on side don’t I?’’

‘’For what?’’

‘’I’ve an idea I want to run by you.’’

 

 

‘’No joy then?’’ Aaron asked as he sat down opposite Robert a couple of days later with two fresh pints, the property section of the Hotten Courier open on the table as Robert pored over it with a furrowed brow.

‘’Nope, complete waste of time.’’ Robert said with a groan as he circled another flat absentmindedly. ‘’There’s nothing decent anywhere.’’

‘’That’s good.’’ Aaron replied happily, and Robert’s head snapped up.

‘’Wow Aaron, I know people are supposed to revel in their ex’s misery, but no need to be quite so gleeful.’’ Robert answered with a snort.

‘’Oh no…not like that. I’ve had an idea is all.’’

‘’Oh yea?’’

‘’You were wrong, the other day. There is a flat going spare in the village.’’

‘’Where? Oh…Aaron, no.’’ Robert replied as the penny dropped.

‘’Why not?’’

‘’Wouldn’t it be weird?’’

‘’Yea at first maybe, but you want to stay in the village right? And the second flat in the Mill is just sitting there…no point in it going to waste.’’

‘’And what about Liv and Gerry?’’

‘’Yea…Gerry’s not too impressed, think he had his eye on the place as a bachelor pad but I couldn’t think of anything worse, so you’d actually be doing me a massive favour by taking it over.’’ Aaron joked weakly.

‘’And Liv?’’ Robert prodded again gently.

‘’She’s…well she’s surprisingly alright with it. She moaned a little to begin with, but I reminded her of the turf wars quote and…yea she’s okay with it. Think that present really softened her up toward ya.’’ Aaron laughed softly and felt his heart flutter when Robert gave him a smile.

‘’Aaron, it’s really generous of you to offer, but wouldn’t it make more sense for Debbie and the kids to have it?’’

‘’It was mentioned yea, but it’s not big enough for three people. Perfect size for one and a half though.’’

‘’You’re saying my son is only half a person?’’ Robert asked in mock outrage, but Aaron missed the light tone and began to blush.

‘’No Robert, I didn’t mean anything…I just…’’ He stuttered, and then groaned when he saw the twinkle in the other man’s eyes.

‘’I’m only messing with ya.’’ Robert laughed. ‘’But Aaron, you don’t want a baby screaming the place down when you’re trying to get some kip.’’

‘’I’ve already got a puppy doing it, the baby will just change up the soundtrack a bit.’’ Aaron replied lightly. ‘’He doesn’t bark that much though.’’ Aaron followed up quickly, a flicker of fear passing through him that Robert would use that as a reason not to take the flat.

‘’I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes though.’’

‘’Whose…? Oh, Alex.’’ Aaron guessed correctly, and after a moment’s hesitation, he shook his head. ‘’It’s not a problem, I promise.’’

‘’You’re really sure?’’

‘’I’m really sure, wouldn’t offer if I wasn’t.’’

‘’Then…I’ll think about it.’’ Robert replied with a smile, and that was good enough for Aaron, who downed the last of his pint and gave him a nod before heading out the door.

He was barely through the door of the Mill when his phone vibrated in his hand, and he smiled at the message.

_You reckon if I chuck Gerry £20 he’ll forgive me for nicking his lad’s pad and help paint the nursery?_

_Chuck in a packet of Jammie Dodgers and he’s yours._

_Wish my haulage negotiations were that easy._

_That a yes then?_

_It’s a yes._

 

 

‘’Wow Rob, this place looks amazing.’’

It had been just over a week since Robert had agreed to take the second flat. After at least half a dozen arguments on the issue of rent, which Robert, unsurprisingly backed up by Chas, eventually won – Aaron, I refuse to move in if you won’t let me pay at least a little rent – and redecorating, which Aaron won – This is your home now Robert, you need to make it your home – the Mill had become a hive of activity, as a seemingly endless trail of paint tins and boxes made their way up the stairs and into the second flat.

They were standing in Seb’s nursery, Aaron looking around in awe at Robert’s handiwork. He shouldn’t have been surprised, not with his experience of the other man’s design work in the first flat, but this was something else. The room had been transformed; the palette of crisp creams and soft browns giving it a clean but warm tone. There was a decal of a brown bear chasing a balloon on the wall, and stars had been stencilled artistically around the room. Of course, this being Robert, everything was in its place, and there was different sections for the changing station, Seb’s toys and all the blankets he could want, as well as an already pretty healthy looking book shelf. Aaron glanced at Robert, who looked shattered, wearing old clothes covered in flecks of paint, and his hair was rumpled but he looked happy and proud of his work.

‘’Yea, no thanks to Gerry. Took my twenty quid and the biscuits and absconded.’’

‘’Well, he’s a convicted criminal, what do you expect?’’ Aaron replied with a laugh, which caused Robert to chuckle as well as they both looked around the completed nursery. Seb was dozing in his crib, his nose crinkling furiously as he dreamt, and it was such a _Robert_ mannerism that Aaron felt his heart flutter as he watched him. Suddenly, the sound of a phone ringing from the kitchen drew his gaze away, Robert apologising before quickly leaving the room to answer it, leaving Aaron alone with Seb.

The noise woke the sleeping baby up, and he began to fidget in agitation, as he looked around wide-eyed for someone to comfort him. Aaron nervously looked in the direction of the kitchen, but he could tell Robert hadn’t heard Seb’s shuffling, so he cautiously made his way closer to the crib.

‘’Ssh, it’s okay, it was only a phone ringing.’’ Aaron said softly, but Seb continued to fuss, his eyes glassy as he prepared himself to cry. Without giving himself time to process it, Aaron had reached in and lifted the little boy out of his crib, cradling him gently to his chest as he rocked him back and forth.

‘’It’s okay little man. Daddy will be back soon yea? And he’ll be so proud of you for not being scared, so let’s not cry okay?’’ Aaron whispered as he hugged Seb closer to his body, gently bouncing him in his arms.

He couldn’t have prepared himself for what came next, as Seb reached out a tiny hand and grasped a tuft of his beard, his little eyes crinkling in wonder as he figured out what he was holding onto.

‘’You like my beard?’’ Aaron asked softly, a small tear prickling his eye, and Seb’s eyes grew wider as he tugged a little tighter, his curiosity getting the softest of smiles from Aaron. As he gazed in Seb’s open eyes, there was no doubt about it; no matter what his surname said there was not a trace of White in him. He was all Sugden, all Robert to be specific, and it caused an unfamiliar fluttering of nervous energy to unfurl itself in Aaron’s chest as the little boy’s eyes brightened, the threat of tears disappearing.

‘’Aaron?’’ He suddenly heard behind him, and he turned to find Robert watching them intently, an awestruck expression on his face. ‘’What are you doing?’’

‘’Sorry...erm…he heard the phone and got a bit unsettled so I erm…’’ Aaron stuttered as Robert came closer.

‘’You stopped him getting upset?’’ Robert said softly as he watched his son begin to doze off again, still in Aaron’s arms.

‘’Yea…I guess.’’ Aaron replied, suddenly very aware that Seb was still in his embrace, so he handed him over gently to Robert, the small brush of their fingers as they touched sending that same energy fizzing through him again.

‘’Thank you, seriously.’’

‘’It was nothing.’’ Aaron shrugged off. ‘’I should go, let you two get settled in properly.’’

‘’You’ll come over again sometime, yea?’’ Robert asked as he watched Aaron walk away, and Aaron nodded, knowing that now there were two Robert Sugdens in the world, nothing was going to keep him away, however much he would try to deny it.

As he lay in bed that night, feeling so close to Robert, but so distant from him at the same time, he couldn’t shut down his brain long enough to go to sleep. He kept picturing Seb in his arms, the way it had felt to hold Robert’s son, and how surprisingly easy he had found it. Yes, he had done it before, the night after the accident, but this was different. He couldn’t get the look in Robert’s eyes when he had caught them together out of his head either. It was soft, and as much as he didn’t want to get carried away, it had seemed almost hopeful.

He played back the kiss from the night Robert disappeared in his head, and he couldn’t shake what it meant to him. He had been unable to do it that day in the barn, and now he was even more certain of his feelings.

 

He wasn’t just in love with him. He wanted Robert back. But now the question remained: Did Robert still want him?

 

 

‘’Right that’s it. I’m done.’’

Aaron was so busy staring at Robert from across the portacabin that he didn’t notice him slamming his laptop shut, but the sound of his voice stirred him from his daydream, and he focused just in time to see Robert watching him with a curious expression.

‘’What?’’ Aaron eventually managed to choke out.

‘’I’m finished for the day, only so many inept clients I can deal with, so I’m off.’’ Robert explained, still looking at him intently. ‘’Looks like you could do with heading off as well, you’ve been in a daze since you came through the door.’’

‘’Yea em…the pup kept me up all night, wouldn’t stop crawling all over me in bed.’’ Aaron replied weakly. It was half true, the lively animal bouncing all over Aaron’s duvet and making a meal of it, but it was only because Aaron had brought him into his bedroom to stop himself being left alone with his thoughts of Robert Sugden all night. ‘’So…any wild plans tonight?’’

‘’Oh yea, big plans.’’ Robert chuckled. ‘’Gonna collect Seb from Diane, cook some tea and fall asleep in front of the telly. You?’’

‘’No…nothing mad as that I’m afraid.’’

‘’Right, well I’ll tell you all the sordid details tomorrow then yea?’’ Robert laughed as he made his way out the door, an idea forming in Aaron’s head as he watched him leave.

An hour later, Aaron found himself by the door to Robert’s flat, a pack of beers in his hand. His heart was thumping in his chest, and before he could back out, he knocked on the door, trying to steady his breathing as he waited for it to open.

‘’Aaron?’’ Robert said, smiling in slight surprise as he opened it, a tea towel draped over his shoulder and delicious smells emanating from the kitchen.

‘’Sorry…just thought you might like some company, but you’re busy…I’ll go…’’ Aaron said nervously as he held up the beers, but if Robert noticed his hesitation he didn’t show it. He was just at the first step when he heard the soft voice behind him.

‘’Fancy some food?’’

 

‘’So where’s all your lot tonight then?’’ Robert asked as he plated up their food, Aaron and Seb both watching him hungrily from their seats at the table.

‘’Liv’s with our Belle and Gerry’s visiting a mate in Hotten.’’

‘’At a loose end were ya?’’

‘’Something like that.’’

‘’And your best option was spending the evening with your single dad neighbour and his son?’’ Robert smirked, and Aaron felt his heart flutter at the twinkle in his eyes.

‘’No, spending the evening with my best mate aren’t I?’’ Aaron retorted lightly, and just for a second, the air around them seemed to change, before Robert went back to the task at hand, dropping a plate down in front of Aaron and grabbing a spoon for Seb’s food.

‘’Alex working then?’’ Robert asked casually as he began to feed his son, but the silence from Aaron caused him to turn back. ‘’Aaron?’’

‘’We broke up.’’ Aaron admitted, searching Robert’s face for a reaction, but there was nothing discernible there.

‘’When?’’

‘’Few weeks back.’’

‘’You seemed pretty solid at your birthday…’’

‘’Yea…he was really nice, but it just didn’t work, not compatible enough I guess.’’ Aaron admitted. ‘’We’re still mates but…nothing romantic anymore.’’

‘’It happens.’’ Robert agreed as he wiped Seb’s mouth. ‘’Some boyfriends are just for Christmas…wait…no that’s dogs.’’ He laughed at his own comment, and Aaron rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help his own mouth quirking up into a grin. ‘’Speaking of, how is Snickers?’’

Aaron breathed a sigh of relief as Robert changed the subject easily, and they fell into an easy rhythm after that as he filled Robert in on his and Liv’s calamitous attempts to house-train their excitable puppy. He couldn’t hold back the laughter as he recounted how Gerry cried – as in, shed actual tears - over the dog’s lost manhood when they got him neutered, and how he cried even more when they got him micro chipped, arguing that his basic canine rights were being stripped away by ‘the man.’ It felt easy and natural, their simple conversation at the end of the day, and Robert’s cooking was still as good as ever. Better even, but Aaron wasn’t sure if Robert had actually improved, or if he was just savouring the taste now he had gone so long without it. Even Seb seemed impressed with whatever mush Robert had served him, banging his spoon down in appreciation, a gummy smile on his face.

‘’I’m just gonna change this one and put him down.’’ Robert said once they’d finished their food. ‘’Then I wash and you dry?’’

‘’Sounds like a plan.’’ Aaron agreed, and he began clearing away the plates and putting the empty beer cans in the recycling. As he began to fill the sink, he could hear Robert murmuring softly to Seb as he put him down. It wasn’t anything specific, just nonsensical ramblings, but it made Aaron’s heart weak in ways he couldn’t imagine as he stood in the second flat of his home in this bizarre scenario that felt more right than anything had felt in months.

He had just about gotten his breathing under control by the time Robert returned to the kitchen.

‘’All okay?’’ He asked as he turned off the tap.

‘’Out like a light.’’ Robert answered with a smile as he rolled up his sleeves, and Aaron felt a shiver run down his spine as he looked at the muscles flex in his arms, clearly a by-product of constantly carrying around a rapidly growing infant. He couldn’t tear his gaze away as Robert plunged his hands into the warm soapy water, and it was only when the other man handed him a dripping plate that he registered what was going on.

‘’You okay?’’ Robert asked as he looked at Aaron intently, and the look in his eyes was nearly enough to send him over the edge.

‘’Sorry, yea hand it over.’’ He replied as casually as he could, taking the plate from Robert and drying it far more vigorously than strictly necessary.

They worked together in silence after that, but it was comfortable, and Aaron found it difficult to hide his disappointment when he saw Robert pull the plug out of the sink, signalling the end of their time together. As he watched the last remnants of water swirl down the sink, Robert’s back to him, he couldn’t help himself. Taking a scoop of the soapy residue, he flicked it at Robert with as much force as he could, unable to keep the childish giggle from his voice.

‘’What the…?’’ Robert exclaimed as he whipped around in surprise. ‘’Oh you are dead.’’ He chuckled when he saw Aaron cackling to himself by the fridge. Taking full advantage of his height difference, however minute it was, he scooped another handful of suds out of the sink and dumped it right on Aaron’s head, laughing hysterically.

‘’Alright, I surrender.’’ Aaron joked once they’d run out of ammunition, holding Robert’s pristine white tea towel above his head as a peace offering. Robert nodded in agreement, but Aaron saw once last chance for victory, as a tiny handful of bubbles remained in the sink. He was perilously close to reaching it when he felt a firm hand grip his wrist, and he looked up into the devilish eyes of the man opposite him.

‘’Don’t you dare.’’ Robert warned darkly, but Aaron quickly reached over with his other hand, and before Robert could react, the handful of bubbles had been deposited on his nose. He blew them off with a snort, causing some of them to land on Aaron’s cheek, and both men burst out laughing.

Aaron saw the sparkle in Robert’s eyes as bubbles continued to drip from his nose, and before he could register what he was doing, he was kissing him, using his free hand to pull Robert’s head towards him as he deepened it. Just like the one in the barn, it was warm and tender, and just like that one, it was over much too quickly, as Robert released himself from Aaron’s grip and backed away.

‘’Aaron…no…’’ Robert said quietly as he put space between them.

‘’Don’t…don’t you want this too?’’ Aaron could feel the blush rising in his neck at the look on Robert’s face.

‘’I can’t…’’

‘’That’s not what I asked.’’

‘’What were you thinking Aaron?’’

‘’I was thinking…that I wanted to kiss the man I love.’’

‘’You were kissing your ex Aaron, and that’s how we need to stay…exes.’’ Robert said, but his voice wobbled at the end, and Aaron knew in that moment that there was still a fight in there somewhere.

‘’Robert…please.’’ Aaron said as he stepped forward, but Robert took an equal step back.

‘’I think you should go now.’’

‘’Why?’’

‘’Because I have a son, and you need to be with someone who isn’t me.’’ Robert replied firmly, the echo of Aaron’s own words in the hospital reverberating around the room.

‘’Robert…’’

‘’Please Aaron, go.’’ Robert was pleading now, and Aaron wanted nothing more than to march towards him and wrap him in his arms, but he knew it would only make things worse. Accepting defeat, he turned on his heel and fled the flat, only allowing the tears to come when he was in the safety of his own bedroom.

 

Three achingly long days had passed since Aaron had made a fool of himself, and somehow, despite the fact that they literally lived on top of each other, Robert had managed to steadfastly avoid Aaron at all times since then. He hadn’t seen him once, and if it wasn’t for the occasional thud of footsteps that signalled Robert’s presence in the other flat, he would have sworn his ex-husband had done a runner.

Aaron was just on his way out of the pub, having had enough of his mum and Liv bending his ear about his bad mood over dinner when he saw Robert coming out of Tug Ghyll, Seb in Vanessa’s arms with a night bag slung over her shoulder as they waved him off. It was now or never. He watched from a distance as Robert made his way back to the Mill and once he’d given him enough time to get back in his flat, he strode quickly in the same direction, all the words he had been dying to spill out over the last few months finally ready to be voiced aloud.

He pounded on the door, trying to steady his breathing as he once more waited for Robert to open it. He saw the look of apprehension on the other man’s face when he saw it was Aaron, followed by a look of defeat as he stepped aside to let him in.

‘’What are you doing here Aaron?’’ As he asked the question, Aaron noticed how exhausted he looked, not from looking after a tiny baby, but like his spirit was tired, and he knew it was down to him.

‘’I have some things to say, things I should have said when we were together, but I’m saying them now.’’

‘’If you should have said them back then, there’s no point saying them now. It’s too late.’’ Robert said wearily.

‘’No, it’s not. We both know that Robert, and I’m not leaving until you hear me out.’’

‘’Fine, what is it you need to say?’’

Aaron shuffled around the room, suddenly very aware of the space between him and Robert, and he had to lean against the counter for a second to steady himself.

‘’You know, I’ve been asked so many times since we ended things if I still loved you, and I always said no…’’

‘’Aaron…’’ Robert began, but Aaron raising his hand to silence him stopped him.

‘’Robert, I need to say this. I always said no, because it was easier somehow, to lie to people when they asked me like that. But only one person has ever asked me if I’m still _in_ love with you, and you know what I did to avoid answering that question, and lying?’’

Robert shook his head.

‘’I kissed that person. It was Alex who asked me, and I kissed him.’’

‘’Why are you telling me this Aaron?’’

‘’Because I was so in denial and stubborn about my feelings towards you, that I kissed another man to help me bury them. I let other people push me into a relationship that I didn’t want to be in, with a man who didn’t know me at all, just to avoid facing how strongly I still felt about you.’’

‘’I don’t get any of this Aaron, this has nothing to do with us being together in the past.’’

‘’Yes it has. I was scared in the past, scared of how much I loved you, and it was always easier to push you away instead of just feeling that love, because people like me aren’t supposed to get a love like the one you gave me. You fought for me all the time, to show me I do deserve it, and I didn’t fight for you once, but I should have.’’

‘’Aaron, a relationship shouldn’t be like that. Yea, it can be hard, but it shouldn’t be a fight.’’

‘’No, it shouldn’t, but I made it one. I needed you to keep fighting for me because I was terrified of waking up one day and finding out you had decided to stop.’’

‘’I would never have stopped, as long as you let me, I’d have fought.’’

‘’I know that. And now, if you let me, it’s my turn to fight.’’

‘’Aaron…’’

‘’I’m in love with you Robert, and I want to fight for you, and your son. I want to fight for this family.’’

‘’You want to fight for Seb?’’ Robert asked in complete disbelief.

‘’With everything I have in me.’’ Aaron replied confidently. ‘’So, are you gonna say anything back?’’

‘’I love you Aaron Dingle. Let’s fight together.’’

Aaron closed the distance between them in two strides, crushing his lips against Robert’s in a delicate, promising kiss full of every emotion he could possibly encapsulate in one moment. He felt Robert’s hesitance, but it soon disappeared and Robert’s hands snaked up his waist and up to his jaw, where Aaron could feel the thumb stroking his cheek softly as they continued to kiss. Taking Robert’s hand, he slowly led them into the bedroom, where he pressed soft kisses to his jaw and collarbone. He had flung off his hoodie quickly, and was about to relieve Robert of his shirt when the other man pulled away from him, looking suddenly anxious.

‘’Robert?’’

‘’I’m just…’’

‘’What?’’

‘’Nervous.’’ Robert admitted shyly as he gazed in Aaron’s eyes. ‘’It’s you.’’

‘’It’s me.’’ Aaron confirmed softly. ‘’Don’t worry. I’ll look after you.’’

 

Aaron woke up the next morning, completely disorientated by his surroundings until he remembered where he was: in his husband’s bed, feeling more content than he had in quite some time. He heard the faint murmurings coming from the baby monitor, and pulling on a t-shirt, he made his way to Seb’s nursery, where Robert was sitting in the rocking chair, giving his son a bottle.

‘’Thought he was with Vanessa?’’ Aaron asked sleepily.

‘’Yea, urgent call out though so she dropped him off first thing.’’

‘’You should have woken me.’’

‘’It’s fine, go back to sleep.’’

‘’I’m up now. Do you…can I feed him for a bit?’’ Aaron asked, feeling suddenly very self-conscious.

‘’You’re sure? We can take this as slow as you want you know?’’

‘’I know, and I’m sure. Why don’t you stick the kettle on?’’

Robert smiled softly as he swapped places with Aaron, and couldn’t keep the grin off his face as he watched him feed his son. It wasn’t until Aaron gave him a threatening glare – followed by a reassuring kiss - that Robert finally disappeared into the kitchen to make them both breakfast.

‘’Hey buddy. I’m Aaron, but we’ve met before.’’ Aaron said softly as Seb sucked on the bottle greedily. ‘’I thought it was time we met properly though.’’ He continued, giving the little boy’s hand the tiniest of shakes, causing Seb to crinkle his nose in surprise.

‘’While it’s just the two of us, I just wanted a quick chat.’’ Aaron whispered. ‘’Your daddy is your best mate yea? Well he’s my best mate too, and he’s also the love of my life. Never thought I’d have that until I met that idiot daddy of yours, but look at me now eh? I promise you that I’m gonna look after you both okay? And if you ever have any problems, you can always talk to me and then I’ll tell daddy, because I can butter him up first yea? We can be a team.’’

Seb slapped his tiny little paw of a hand against Aaron’s and he took that as a high-five.

‘’Everything okay?’’ Robert asked as he returned with two mugs of tea.

‘’Yea…I reckon it is.’’ Aaron replied with a smile.

 

 

Two months later, Gerry finally got his bachelor pad, with nursery still intact.

‘’Because ladies love a man with a baby.’’ He smiled devilishly.

‘’And so do men.’’ Robert replied with a smirk as he pressed a kiss to Aaron’s temple, getting a scoff in response before Aaron pressed a soft kiss to his cheek.

He woke up the morning after Robert had officially moved back in to see his husband sat up in bed, back resting against the headboard as he cuddled a sleepy Seb in his arms. He twisted around to face them, Robert reaching out a hand to stroke Aaron’s cheek as he held Seb with one hand cradled underneath him.

‘’Look buddy, papa’s awake.’’ Robert said softly, and Seb’s eyes fluttered open.

‘’He okay?’’

‘’Yea, he’s good. We both are.’’ Robert smiled happily. ‘’I’m just gonna get him some breakfast, want a brew?’’

‘’Please.’’ Aaron smiled.

‘’C’mon then mischief, let’s go and get you and papa some grub before someone starts screaming bloody murder. ‘’ Robert smirked.

‘’I only screamed bloody murder once Rob, let it go.’’ Aaron retorted with a snort.

‘’Yea yea, be back in a tick, c’mon trouble.’’ Robert was about to angle himself out of the bed, but Aaron grabbed him by the wrist.

‘’Pass him over, you go and get the food while I entertain the munchkin here.’’

Robert passed his son over to Aaron’s waiting arms without question before placing a quick peck to both of their foreheads and then tiptoeing out of the bedroom.

Aaron cradled Seb in his arms, the little boy completely asleep now, and took in the sight before him. There were toys everywhere, clothes strewn haphazardly across every available surface, and a snoring dog at the foot of the bed, and Aaron couldn’t contain his grin.

‘’It’s nothing.’’ He said to a bemused Robert once he’d returned, the smile on his face making his husband suspicious.

As he watched him feed their son, he couldn’t believe how his life had suddenly turned out in the space of a few months. He had a husband by his side, a successful business, the 2.5 children and even the dog.

 

He had never been happier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
